i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
