I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
