Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
