Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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