does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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