I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
