I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Green mimosas i think yes
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
