I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Randomize
