your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize
