Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Im part way to drunk.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
