soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Operation Purity has been aborted
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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