are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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