this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Randomize
