So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
My vagina is very pro this idea
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
