I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
