I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Pooping to opera.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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