I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
