Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
