I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize