Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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