my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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