I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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