theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
