just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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