not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
