Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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