Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
