I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
