also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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