Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
