I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
