His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
