I like to think it a success when the cops are called
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
