I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
