they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Randomize