I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
