Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
too bad you live with your parents still
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
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