you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
