I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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