i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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