i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
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