There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
