R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I have aggressive nipples.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
