so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
