I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
tell me about the fingering
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