No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize