I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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