So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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