She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Is Oprah even human
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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