I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
