Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
