i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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