it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
