just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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